scootyshabooty:

So there’s this guy like, sweeping outside my bedroom window right?

And I live in an apartment, so this window is above the back alley of my building, where the entrance to the basement is and what not

and this guy is sweeping okay

but my window has like, vents right?

like the screen you put in, but it has metal over it with vents

so I can get air in without having my window be wide open

so, in other words, you can’t see me

this is where things get fun

okay so

so

I was like alright

I am going to sing 

a song

okay

so I press up against the screen/vent thing, right? And I start off reaaaallll low right?

Alas my love you do me wrong

to cast me off discourteously 

but then I start getting into it, so I got a bit louder

For I have loved you well and long

Delighting in your compannnnnyy

and I can hear the guy like, STOP sweeping

so I’m like okay, okay I got his attention

so I stop. I just pause. right there. I don’t say another word.

And the second I hear the broom come in contact with concrete again

GREEEEENSLEEEEEEEEEEEEVES WAS ALLL MY JOY

like BELTING THIS OUT okay

and he starts sweeping SO FAST and I don’t get why because I’M JUST SINGING

THIS ISN’T MY WAR CRY I AM NOT GOING TO KICK OUT THE VENT

FLIP OUT OF MY WINDOW

AND SHOVE YOUR OWN BROOM IN YOUR ASS

AND I KEEP SINGING AND HE JUST SWEEPS FASTER AND FASTER 

AND I’M LIKE REACHING THE CLIMAX

OF MY PERFORMANCE

AND WHO BUT MY LADY GREEEEEEEEEEENSLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVES

and then, I peak over the top of the vent

to the little space where I can see out the window

and this little man

left

the broom

and ran

I’M SCREAMING.