January 2012
altairyourclothesoff:
nursejoey:
my new year’s resolution is to ball so hard mothafuckers wanna fine me
i also plan on ordering plenty of fish filets
i must insist mckenzie that shit is cray
In honor of the new year, ask me anything you... →
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there was a holiday commercial for audis or...
and so this guy drives in with his nice car and opens the door to his parents house and is holding presents and is like “HEY THERE MOM AND DAD <3”
and there’s no answer
and he’s like what???
and he turns around or looks through the window and HIS PARENTS ARE DRIVING OFF IN HIS CAR
and then it skips to them being in the car and the dad’s like “lol...
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me: hey mo-
mom: waiting for 2011 to end is like the poop that won't come out
me: wh-
mom: it's just stuck in your butt
and you just want it to hurry up and get out so you can get on with your life
ok bye
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captain amuurrika: i was like
captain amuurrika: altair you are so cute you probably fart whenever you move
captain amuurrika: you're old as ball--
captain amuurrika: DARIM
captain amuurrika: DARIM
captain amuurrika: FUCK ME
captain amuurrika: FUCK ME
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December 2011
I’m going to go cry in my shower over this game now ok bye
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man
i just love the parallels they did with any of ezio’s doubt to desmond’s doubt about stuff and ezio’s JOURNEY through everything and i’ll be honest where the past few games had me thinking that eh, maybe abstergo isn’t as bad as we think/they want peace but it’s a bad way to go about it — BUT THIS GAME had me feel more and more supportive of the...
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i legitimately hear the little ringing/chiming...
i think i need sleep…..
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:3
seriously though i know there are a lot of people who don’t think the game was that good, and honestly, there are some parts where i’m inclined to agree! the length was a bit weh. i didn’t get to do everything i wanted. but… plotwise. i still fucking loved it.
AND I’M JUST ABOUT 10000x MORE EXCITED FOR THE NEXT GAME.
whenever the hell that comes out.
this felt...
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I DID IT GUYS.
I FUCKING DID IT.
I FINISHED ASSASSIN’S CREED: REVELATIONS IN APPROX. 24 HOURS.
DIDN’T SLEEP. DIDN’T EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING BUT FIVE BREADSTICKS, A GLASS OF WATER AND TWO MONSTERS.
BUT I DID IT.
I FUCKING DID IT. I NEED “WINNER” TATTOOED ON MY FOREHEAD RIGHT FUCKING NOW PLEASE. THANKS.
JESUS CHRIST FUCK YOU REDBOX AND YOUR 2$/FUCKING DAY RENTALS FOR DRIVING...
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spoilers/a lot of fanspazming because i'm nearing...
THAT CARRIAGE FIGHT WITH THE PARACHUTE/PARAGLIDING THING WAS PROBABLY THE MOST FUN I’VE HAD PLAYING AN ASSASSIN’S CREED GAME, NO LIE.
OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD SUBJECT SIXTEEN I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH OH FUCK OH FUCK AAAAAH EZIO AAHH DESMOND AHHH SHAUN AS A NEUROSURGEON AAAAH EZIO SAYING CON AFFETTO TO CLAUDIA AAAAH AHAHHH
AAAHHH IS THIS THE ENDIONG OH OGJMY GOD I CAN’T...
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YUSUF NO NO NON...
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ALTAIR'S LSAT MEMORY THING
HE’S 92 YEARS OLD HAHAHA WAHT A PRECIOUS BABY. STILL A PRECIOUS BABY. FOREVER A PRECIOUS BABY. NICCOLO POLO IS SO CUTE TOO AAAAH WHATY ARE THEY SO CUTE. SO CAKAWAII.
OH GOD THE APPLE HE IS SO BADASS HOPY FUCK OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD ALTAAAIIR YOU—
HOLY SHIT
DARIM YOU’RE SMOKING HOT.
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ALRIGHT. I STARTED PLAYING AT 6 P.M.
IT’S ALMOST 2 P.M.
I’M ALMOST AT THE 20 HOUR MARK LOL.
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EZIO.. THE BOATS.. THAT CHAIN. DAT FIRE. THE BOMB....
OH GOD, HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD?
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ALL THE DENS ARE MINE
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu
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yyYERAAAAAAHHH THIS DEN IS MINE FUCKERS
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see why does it have to be the captain??
why can’t there be an alternative where you slaughter every guard in the redzone????? ive been waiting in a haystack for ever ):
although its ym fault in the first place because i was impatient and ran in and its a cowardly captain but still fuck you templars grow a spine
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oh well i'm a little tired
pops out the second monster
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where was i
oh yes
aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HE CAN’T FCLIMB ANYMORE WHATA A CUTIE APATOTOOTIEE AUAUAUGHHHH BABBIYYYYYY BABY YOU JSUT DISARM EVERYONE HEHEH YOHU”RE JUST SO UCETO I CANNPT HANDLE ITI LVOE YOU ALTAIR OH GMY GOD YOU BAAAAAAAAAAAABBY
OH MAN… abbass at the same time you’re… not completely unredeemable goddamn fuq BUT STILL SO KAWAII YES EZIO YO)UR KAWAIAII...
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WE'RE GOOD. I GOT IT. FUCK. FUCK YES.
SHRIEKS. OKAY.
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THE GAME FROZE AND MY XBOX WON'T READ IT ANYMORE
aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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m-my game froze
my game froze
MY GAME FROZE
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82 YEAR OLD ALTAIR
STILL SUPER KAWAII SO FUCKING KAWIIIAII THE LOVE HACONTUEIUS AAUGHIIENKDS AUGH ALTAIR HOW ARE YOU STILL KUST DOING WHAT YOU DO WAHODH GFUCK STOP BEIGN SO WISE I CAN’T HAND:E IT AUGUJDSHELE
WAUUGUHHUAUAUISHTEHEDUWIAUAUUSUUUUGHHWAAAUGHHUSHTHGUEEUWUAUGUHT
AUGJLIST AHHH I LVOE LIFE HEHEHOULIAFAF HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH ABBAS HE USIS SUCH A CUTE OULD MAN THIS IS SO INTESNE I CANNOT EVEN HANDLE...
mindmychaos asked: Jay, it's getting to the point where I kind of want to put an orange shock blanket around you and put you in a quiet room where you can twitch yourself back to sanity.
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HAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
WHAT AM I EVEN DOING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
I DON’T THINK MY BRAIN IS FUNCTIONING PROPERLY ANYMORE. OR IT IS, ACTUALLY. EVERYTHING IS EASIER NOW?? MAYBE I’VE HARDWIRED MYSELF TO ASSASSIN’S CREED. IT’S… SURREAL. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. JESUS.